Art Tumblr Themes

How are people getting the top hats at? I’m not getting one.

  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  • Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  • Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  • Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  • Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

caseyanthonyofficial:

I hate when people say “I love your tumblr but can you post less of-” like no bitch this aint build-a-blog 

vandigo:

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Tumblr!

One of them is “Soylent green is leprechaun”

I just thought i would share that one

cottageintheclouds:

Are you ever watching a new episode of a show and something controversial or intense or unexpected happens and you’re just like I can actually hear Tumblr right now

youneedtonot:

30secondstocalifornia:

wingscanspeak:

zorobro:

wingscannotspeak:

peetasboxers:

kissyourneck-slitmythroat:

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u

So i tried it both ways and uh

i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?

this made me laugh really hard….

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated 

So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE! 

Its not science unless you write it down so 

First method:

image
Well done, i guess…

Second:

image
I fucked up

Girls… how?

this is the most humorous post on this entire website

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

satansgayson:

2spookysweatermeulin:

chibicrydoll:

cheezetits:

willsuckss:

SHIT I’M LATE FOR AMERICAN SCHOOL

i go to school in america and i can tell u that this is 120% accurate if we dont do this we get sent to freedom jail for not being free enough

In my school, we have to bring our pet eagles to school and whenever we don’t we get a 1 hour detention.

YOU AREN’T WEARING RED WHITE AND BLUE YOU’RE BREAKING DRESS CODE

WOW! You guys are allowed to talk in the international english, i feel so rebelious OH SHIT A TEACHER *cough* Obama gun fried chicken california cowboy kentucky george washington freedom tea boston flag

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME
no sir, your mom is unconstitutional

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

satansgayson:

2spookysweatermeulin:

chibicrydoll:

cheezetits:

willsuckss:

SHIT I’M LATE FOR AMERICAN SCHOOL

i go to school in america and i can tell u that this is 120% accurate if we dont do this we get sent to freedom jail for not being free enough

In my school, we have to bring our pet eagles to school and whenever we don’t we get a 1 hour detention.

YOU AREN’T WEARING RED WHITE AND BLUE YOU’RE BREAKING DRESS CODE

WOW! You guys are allowed to talk in the international english, i feel so rebelious OH SHIT A TEACHER *cough* Obama gun fried chicken california cowboy kentucky george washington freedom tea boston flag

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME

no sir, your mom is unconstitutional

bahtmun:

Tumblr celebrates Pi Day

kripke-is-my-king:

fireandshellamari:

ospreying:

zxcvfgdy:

Human Feelings as Drugs

It would be really cool to have a movie about this in a world where the government distributes these to people, and at first glance everything is fine, people with depression and antisocial disorder are being instantly treated and that’s great. But then you realize that there are groups of people abusing these drugs underground, like there will be people on happy all the time, people that use hope to delude themselves, or people that drug other people with love, and that true human emotions have been nearly wiped out. Then at the end it’s discovered that the government is using these drugs to control society and manipulate people into becoming soldiers by taking away their empathy and filling them up with trust for the government. So it ends in an uprising led by a resistance group who lead the people to realize that their humanity has been stripped and doesn’t come in a bottle.

Sometimes Tumblr comes up with better movie/book/show premises than the ones being dished out.

it’s okay because tumblr consists largely of “Hollywood’s” next generation. Myself and others are fully planning on bringing things like this to life one day. Give us a few years, we’ll give you things really worth watching.

There’s a Doctor Who episode with a similar concept. It’s called Gridlock